Friday, February 10, 2012
I decided today that after almost 22 years ago after overcoming insurmountable odds, having broken both feet, and my back, then being told I would never walk again, that it was time to bring that determination back to the surface!! The day finally came, that I had to make the transfer from my bed to my wheel chair beside my hospital bed that I'd just gotten out of for the first time after my fall. That day that I hurt and cried so hard, and felt so hopeless; that day that I was so distraught that my mother had to feed me my lunch, and was so encouraging to me while I wept like a baby while trying to eat....THAT DAY, I decided that this was NOT me and I WOULD walk again. I would not live my life confined to that wheel chair.
I know how determination, positive thinking, holding that ever loving Energy deep within me and gripping with all my might, and keeping the faith (along with a TON of perseverance) how it truly does bring us miracles! And I'm doing it again! By choosing to be surrounded by my most positive family and friends, I can do this again. I know I can overcome these aches and pains, both physical and emotional ! (or at the very least, not let this Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue take control of me and destroy the quality of every aspect of my entire life !)
I have been directed to people who are a blessing to me, when they don't even realize it; a taxi driver at work; a comment from a loved one; a feeling of support from someone I barely know; It's the solution. They are my solution. My solution to my problems, no matter what they are, are ALWAYS there. I work very hard everyday to have open eyes . I've learned that when my hands were overflowing with allowing myself to literally hold on to, and accept the many forms of abuse that I've had to deal with in my life, and by not 'letting go and letting God', I didn't have ANY room for the flow of the loving energy that my body, my home, and my children so dearly needed.
I thank God, that everlasting flow of perfect loving energy, for always being with me. My God does not judge me. (He) supports me; he lifts me up and carries me, when I think I've gone as far as I can. And when I realize that I have this awesome 'Power" within me, it is not only intensely humbling, but intensely EMPOWERING! But when I bury my head in the sand and literally half drown in my 'pond' of self pity, I don't see. I've worked very hard over the years 'to see', and be more aware of the goodness in my life, and what is there just by simply asking, and now.. it's time to APPLY my lessons, and experiences to anyone that needs my help, including myself. It's time to let that determination out and see just exactly what I can do with it. I have too much that I've been missing - especially my family (and pool, of course LOLOLOLOL)
May blessings of abundance in all that comes from truth, goodness, and light, find their way to you...