Sunday, March 13, 2011

Making Memories

I came across a poem that I have kept over the years to remind me about what's ultimately important, and to always be self-aware.  We get so caught up in work, house work  :s  , outside obligations,  and things we 'claim' are important. Someday, you won't remember those silly things you worked yourself up about.  Tell me, what did the bathroom counter look like when you were 7 or 8 years old, 12 years old?  Were there dust bunnies under your bed?  Were the windows sparkling clean all the time? If the floors weren't washed every day/week, whatever, did you notice?  Did you notice if the house wasn't dusted and polished in every corner? And the ultimate question... Did you care??? Of course, I can't answer that for you.  I know, I would NOT remember those things. And I also know, there are those who would.

Do you remember when you were out in the back yard playing with your dad, helping with the yard work because you wanted to be with him ALL the time?  Do you remember when you just knew your mom was the most wonderful person and you wanted to be just like her? Do you remember when she had a baby brother for you and you thought 'nursing' was the most amazing and special thing, and you could hardly wait to grow up so you could do that? Do you remember when your mom let you feed the baby his bottle and you felt so grown up?  Do you remember when you had tea with your Grandmother who tried to tell you not to put sugar in it, you could get diabetes? Do you remember when your parents would dress up for halloween?  Did you go on long walks together? Wash the car together? Family get-togethers? Weeks spent at your Aunt's farm and you wished you could live there? Do you remember your Uncle taking you fishing and you caught a 12" trout and it was bigger than your cousins (and he was NOT impressed)?  And when your Uncle let you put minnows in a jar but you had to have a straw and blow air into the water so they could stay alive? When your Aunt taught you how to crochet and your Grandmother taught you how to knit? Do you remember sitting in your Grandmother's living room, with your Great Grandmother there too, and everyone was sitting in a chair, claiming a section of the blanket to quilt? Do you remember talking to your mom and knowing she actually heard you? Do you remember feeling loved? What do you remember?

My mother has always used the phrase "makin' memories".  That has stuck with me.  Fortunately my daughters love to take pictures so there are lots of memories floating around each of our Facebook pages.

I have worked very hard to be aware of my children's needs, and that is a very difficult task.  In my parenting, I've tried to incorporate what I thought worked for me as a kid, and change what didn't. Balance is the key.  But talk to them, and let them know you care, and they'll let you know how they see their life. They are filled with amazing insight.  Fill their lives with amazing'ness'!

At the beginning of everyday, and throughout each day, take a second to think about what memories you are creating for your kids or grandchildren.  You have a small window of opportunity, even though some days seem an eternity.  Keep it positive and take time to listen to them.

Here is the poem:

If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again

If I had my child to raise over again,
I'd finger-paint more and point the finger less,

I'd do less correcting and more connecting,
I'd take my eye off my watch, and watch with my eyes,

I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious and play seriously,
I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars,

I'd do more hugging and less tugging,
I'd be firm less often, and affirm much more,

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

Diane Loomans  author             

May blessings of abundance in all that comes from truth, goodness, and light, find their way to you!

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